Tampons & Glory

I got robbed today.

Rider Milles, Clove Lee, and I had just trekked back a 30-minute hike when we arrived at the scene. Just a few seconds ago we had seen it all – a glorious waterfall, rivers rushing down silky rocks, and the great wide blue ocean that accompanied our trail. The two lovebirds and I had seen no other sight of life throughout our hike and had absorbed the tranquility of this setting. The snoring trees and whistling wind has given us a time of peace, a time to think and talk to each other about life’s problems.

So when we run into robbers picking out our possessions in Rider’s car, we had quickly been slapped by reality. And how Rider and Clove responded was… pretty intense.

The three of us were casually talking, side by side when we emerge from the bushes and see Rider’s parked car. Then we notice a sketchy-looking vehicle parked very close to it.

We all hush in silence but keep on walking, more quickly. It’s obvious as we all share one same thought:

Are they… stealing… our stuff???!!

The beat-up car’s engine comes to life and starts to move. Our pace quickens. At once, the three of us notice the window is broken. And a hand is reaching out…

Immediately we synchronize into a sprint. The car shrieks as it turns its direction towards the exit. The hand in Rider’s car disappears and a dark-skinned man pops out, his hands holding something. A million thoughts flow through my mind.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Drop our supplies? Chase after the guy? But they might have weapons. He might have a gun. Remember what my parents say in these situations. Don’t. Go.

I have made up my mind and stop dead in my tracks, but Clove and Rider had other decisions. Rider charges after the man who has crawled out of the broken window. Clove takes a different route and follows after the car.

The man manages to skip away from Rider’s clutch, but Rider was still hot on his heels. For a few seconds the man turns around and attempts to give a swing. Rider dodges and gives the guy his own fist. This scuffle forced the man to drop something on the ground and run. At this time, the getaway car drives farther away but comes to a roll. Clove couldn’t catch up to the car and instead heads toward the running man. From afar, both Rider and Clove were pinpointing this guy and the three were just about to clash. To the man’s direction was the runaway car, ready to shoot off any second when the criminal jumps in. I just stare from this spot, not knowing what the hell I should do.

Gotta do something. Pick up Rider and Clove’s stuff. Check the car. Check what they stole. Hurry – before – anyone else – might – ambush us!!!

I pick up the supplies in a flash and find that the objects the guy dropped was Rider’s iPhone and other high-tech gadgets. These were the most valuable objects in the car – it was a miracle that this guy had it in his hands but quickly lost it.

As I look up, I watch the unthinkable action between the lovebirds and the thieves. Clove and Rider attack the guy, but amazingly this bewildered man stumbles into the car. The car sets into full speed, screaming against the gravel. This didn’t stop the couple. Clove runs alongside the car, reaching in for something and even prying open the door. Rider tries to punch inside but loses his grip and instead plants himself on the trunk. As the car gains speed, Clove finally lost her control and let’s go. Rider still rides on the trunk for a few more seconds until he slips and stumbles behind. Even while he’s falling, he still tries to catch the car. But in the end the vehicle leaves in a jiffy and the two are surrounded in a cloud of dust.

I just watch from afar in awe and feel so pathetic standing here in the midst of this crime. Out of all the chaos, the first sentence naturally comes to mind:

That is one badass couple.

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In the end, the only thing that was stolen was my bag. There were no valuable items in the bag. Just some survival junk, extra clothes, 25 dollars, and – being a 16-year old novice on her period – a life-time supply of tampons.

The cops jot this all down and informed me that they’ll call if they catch the guys and find my stuff. Clove and Rider provided a great amount of information by describing the thieves, the car, and even the license plate. Clove even ripped off one of the guys’ sunglasses while she was running alongside the driving vehicle. We tried to gain fingerprints on the sunglasses, but it was too smudged from the struggle. Of course, the cops were amazed at the ferocity of this couple but warned that we should have avoided conflict.

“Don’t you kids know that this beach is loaded with car thieves? That’s why there’s nobody parking here!”

Oops.

“You could’ve been stabbed,” he said, pointing to Rider. “You could’ve been kidnapped,” pointing to Clove.

“And you would’ve… Well you would be doing first aid and calling us now wouldn’t you?” he states, pointing to me.

“You kids – you’re… you’re something”

(Afterwards, he asks for my social security card and passport number. A note – the Guam PD isn’t always the most reliable).

Although I lost all my stuff on this hiking trip, I’m still pretty happy. I’m glad that they weren’t able to steal anything else valuable and they were more afraid of Rider and Clove than a situation where someone really gets hurt.

…And I find it extremely hilarious that these guys will only find a bag full of tampons.

It was truly a great time (well… at least the hiking part) and will be a great story to tell. Rider will get a new back window soon, so I guess everything goes back to normal… kind of.

But overall, we all agreed that this vacation-turned-disaster was a good learning experience and a strange but fun bonding moment.

DeAnna English: Guam, 2014